Just Sayin: Mail

Is it really that important to check your mail more often than once a week?

I pay my bills online, I don't subscribe to any magazines and nobody ever sends letters. In fact the only thing I actually do receive is junk mail.

So what is the point?

Just sayin....

All My Single Ladies!

I've been leading a Singles bible study for awhile, but we just recently split for a new study. This time it's ladies only. Shocking for me to say this, but I'm actually loving a break from the guys!!

My church is really putting some resources behind growing the ministry and I'm SO excited about the direction it may take. My heart has always been with single women and I think God has some awesome things in store for this group!

Hooray!

A New Look

Love my new Blogger background!

But I'm super annoyed by how slim the body is. Does that bug anyone else??

First Post of 2010 - Shame on Me

I have been blogging until 2005.

But I really stink at keeping up with this lately. Maybe it's time to start again.....

Will you read???

Three Weeks and Counting...

Speaking of moving, I am 3 weeks away from moving.

Wow.

I honestly can't believe this day is here. Three years of sacrifice. Three years of paying off my "Dax Debt". Three years of owning nothing more than some bedroom furniture and the clothes on my back. And three years hanging out with GG.

How blessed am I?

Just to have this time with my mom and to be able to leave three years later, refreshed, debt free, and ready to start a new chapter of my life!

THIS THING IS FROM HIM!

I cannot thank Him enough. I am beyond excited and equally as scared, but so ready for the challenge.

Details to come.....

Another Delightful Move

Oh my goodness!

I haven't posted since September. That's shameful. This one's for you Karow....

Christmas Day my mom and I went to the movies. It was packed! As I was desperately trying to maneuver my way around the lines to get to the bathroom, I stumbled backwards and actually stabbed a large cardboard display with my stiletto heel!

When I went to pull it out, I took the entire display with me.

A classic Fabs move. A classic move, indeed.

Car Accidents

My friend Jennie got in a car accident today.

Sucks.

She was on her way to work when an elderly gentleman ran a red light and broadsided her on the driver's side of the car.  He was driving a Yukon.  She was driving an Accord.  

The entire driver's side of the car was smashed in.  Her windows were blown out and the car was totaled.  She had to crawl out the passenger side just to get out.

Luckily, she walked away with only a few scrapes and bruises.  But what scary stuff!  I think car accidents are one of my biggest fears.  Ugh.

Jennie, this thing is from Him!  Maybe now you can get that new car you've been wanting!

So glad my friend is safe.  Love y'all!

The State of Fabs

So I haven't posted in a month.  I'm a bad blogger.

But due to the recent infiltration of my blog (you know who you are), and by popular demand, I figured it was time for an update.

Here's what's been going on in my life:

1.  I'm kicking ass at work.  I had my best month ever in August, bringing home a solid $3,000 in commission.  Hellz yeah!  That's a far cry from my $3.10 check in January.  This thing is from Him!

2.  I went on a super fun girls weekend to Austin with my besties Jenn and Tara (and Bebe!). We had the best time just hanging out and visiting with each other.  I feel SO blessed to have gained Tara as a friend from another failed friendship.  LOL!  It's like I got her in the divorce settlement - so yay for me!

3.  I purchased Cowboys tickets for Thanksgiving Day for Andrew and I.  Can't wait!

4.  The new 25-35 Singles Group at church (which we have named Fusion) is really taking off! It's amazing to see God's hand at work already after just a few weeks.  We've grown to about 20 people so far and are quickly becoming too big for my own living room.  YAY!  I have met such good friends already and cannot wait to see what His plan continues to be.

5.  I have a date this weekend.  That's all the details you get (because he reads my blog).    :)

6.  My girls and I are planning a zip lining trip to the hill country in October.  Super fun!

7.  I learned that my hairdresser is an ex-con.  Yep.  Time for a new hairdresser.

8.  Bosley is still the love of my life.

9.  I have not had any recent falls or clumsy moments.  Though I did break the underwire in my bra dancing the Tootsee Roll with Liz at work one afternoon.  Classy.

10.  I'm still 31.  Sigh.

11.  I still live at GG's.  Uber sigh.

12.  I am starting to formulate the plan for moving (again!).  Barring another layoff, I am 99% sure this one will go through!

13.  We are getting a new AE at work, and he's gay!  Yippee!  We've been secretly hoping for a gay and are please to have found him.  I plan to refer to him henceforth as Romeo, because he's just that adorable.  He starts tomorrow and I have a feeling our numbers are about to soar!  

Then I will sing.....  "We're in the money!  It's bright and sunny!"

14.  We went to Grapefest yesterday and I came home with a sunburn.  It hurts.

15.  I am SO very excited about cold weather, football, and fall TV!  I'm over the summer.  Time for a new season.

I promise to update more often. 

Love, love!

Fabs

Skydiving: The Video

Finally got this bad boy posted!

Ignore the cheesy music and the fact that my mouth is open the ENTIRE time, and enjoy!

Skydiving

On Saturday I went skydiving for the first time!

It was just me and three friends, and was a birthday gift from GG.  I've been talking about doing it for years and I just set a date a few months ago.  So it was super crazy when the day finally arrived!

My instructor, Joss, was the best!  And I would recommend Skydive Dallas to anyone thinking about going.  I'm working on getting the video updated, but in the meantime enjoy my pics!

We jumped from 15,000 feet up and fell at a rate of approximately 120 miles per hour. AMAZING!  It is truly just as incredible as they say!

Me and Joss about to jump.  Ready, Set...

Go!

Mid-flip as we leave the plane behind.  Too late now!

Holding hands with my photographer, California Dave!

Absolutely AMAZING!

Woo-hoo!

Having the time of my life!

Joss goofing around with me - so cute!

I guess after 13,532 jumps it's just another day at the office for Joss.  Love this pic.  :)

Parachute comes out

Beginning the canopy down

I Admit It - I Heart My iPhone

I find die-hard Apple fans to be annoying.

I used to work with this girl who displayed the famous Apple on the back window of her BMW. Now, I work with one that has it as a tattoo!  Quite frankly, I find it all to be a bit overkill.  I mean, I'm a huge fan of Honda, but you won't catch me permanently inked or sporting it on the cover of my Trapper Keeper(1).  

But after years of frustrations with PCs(2), I finally decided to treat myself to a Mac.  Although, I would like the record to show that my first REAL computer was in face an Apple Macintosh(3).  So I'm not THAT out of the loop.

I was the final adopter in our little family of MacBook owners.  Andrew was the first buyer, eventually leading GG to the purchase before I jumped on the bandwagon.  And we were so happy in our Mac world, until Andrew went out and bought the iPhone.

Now I resisted this trend BIG time at first.  Mainly because I just bought a new phone six months ago(4), but also out of a sheer refusal to be one of the millions of Apple sheep who flock(5) to the stores the minute a new product is released.

But alas, I have given in to the pressure and am now the proud owner of an iPhone.  

Is this not the greatest phone known to man!?  What was I resisting?  The complete awesomeness of it!?  

I'm a changed woman.

1  That reference was for you, Tara.

2  And losing my job, therefore losing my computer.

3  Remember those?  Tiny screen, all black & white, not even Internet-capable?

4  Ah, the sewage drain incident.  Good times.

Life Is Short

Today we received terrible news at work.

On Sunday, there was a brutal in-home attack in Seattle that left one woman dead and another woman injured.

The wounded victim, who was released from the hospital, is the manager of my company's Seattle office.

The murder victim is my colleague's partner.  They were planning their wedding/ commitment ceremony for September.

I was absolutely devastated when I heard the news.  Though I do not know her well, it's always shocking when something this horrific hits close to home.  

Of course my initial reaction was a sick feeling in my stomach.  Very similar to the one I felt the day I heard that my ex had stabbed his girlfriend.  It is so hard to imagine that anyone could be capable of such a thing!  I also cannot even begin to imagine what the victims of such crime endure...both in the moment and for years to come.

My heart aches for her.  The news stated that her partner saved her life, actually shielding her from the attacker's weapon.  Unbelievable.

I wanted to share this news, though it is dark and sad, to remind you all of how short this life truly is.  It's hard to see God's plan in most of it, but I trust that He holds her in His hands now.  There is a reason she lived.  I hope and pray that she will have peace in her heart and healing during this time of devastation.

Injured. Again.

Last night I went to Top Golf for the first time.

If you haven't been, it's awesome!


I sweat my butt off, stuffed my face with some fab appies, and drank a bucket of beer. All of which I fear resulted in the following.


Yep, I fell out of my chair. More accurately, it was one of those stadium seats that folds up when you stand up. I was so focused on the yummy sliders about to enter my belly, I sat down with my full weight on nothing!! On the way down, I scraped my back on the METAL armrest.


Check out the awesome result. This is actually my back, and the bruise is roughly the size of a grapefruit!!

Good times.

This Just In

It's kind of ironic, since I just posted this video last week (see below).

Animal Planet contacted me and said they were searching for the cutest dogs in America for an upcoming special - and guess who they think is super adorable!

That's right, my little man is all ready to get his SAG card.

I'll keep you updated!  In the meantime, watch the video again and tell me if you think we qualify for the super cuteness they're looking for!

Bosley Takes A Ride on the Air Conditioner

To My Bestie

Dear Jilly Bean,

I love our Wednesday nights together.  There is absolutely nothing about our friendship that seems "hard."  :)

Love you.

Squishy: Week 3

I only lost 0.5 pounds this week.  What a drag.

Yes, I know, some weight lost is better than no weight lost.  But I was hoping for at least 2 pounds.

So I treated myself to a cheeseburger AND fries for lunch today.  Take that Squishy!  

Here's to my last week before July 4.  I'm 3 pounds shy of my goal....hope I can do it!

Hello Friend

This is what I saw outside my window at work today.

I waved.

He didn't wave back.

But he did thoroughly squeegee my window, resulting in my beautiful view of Uptown Dallas.

Happy Father's Day...To Me

What an awesome day!

True, it's Father's Day, and I don't have a father.(1)  But I couldn't have asked for a better Sunday.

I started the morning off with a success on the scales(2) before heading out to church(3).  Today was our first day manning the "Singles" table.  I can't believe just three weeks ago I was searching for a place to belong, and now I'm leading a group!(4)

Anyway, after the service Jennie and I headed out to Southlake.  We had lunch at Campania's (super yum,) and caught the new movie "The Proposal".  Loved it!  I laughed so hard in one scene, I had tears in my eyes!

When I got home this afternoon, GG and I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" on DVD(5), then caught up on some DVR with "Tori & Dean" and "Ruby".  There is just too much good TV to watch it all during the week.

We finished the evening with a family car ride to return the DVDs, a run to the bank(6), and a quick stop into Subway.  As much as I complain about crashing at GG's house, it's these moments together that I know I will treasure.  We have had dozens and dozens of such family car rides, while our little B hung his head out the window.

So now my face is washed, the blog is updated, and I'm about to spend some time in Corinthians.  I may not have an earthly father to celebrate this day with, but I am SO grateful for my heavenly one who loves me unconditionally, and blessed me with this amazing and fulfilling day.  This thing is ALWAYS from Him.

Thanks Dad, I love you.

1  Well, I have a father.  Just not one that chooses to be in my life.

2  See previous post.

3  I am LOVING my new church!  Every week I love it a little more, and every week I feel as though I'm growing in my personal walk with Christ.  It's stinkin' awesome!

4  This thing is from Him!

5  From my beloved Red Box.  If you don't know it - you gotta try it!  $1 rentals!

6  Because my cash budget rocks the world.

What Do We Think?

I accidentally erased my FAB zebra print background when I was adding my new weight loss ticker.

What do we think of the bird in the pear tree?

Ok, so maybe it's not completely Fabs...but I thought a change would be nice.

Let me know what you think!  Do I keep it?

On The Weigh Down: Week 2

I lost another 3.4 pounds this week.

Yay for me!

Thanks to the J Crew who cooked a WW-friendly meal last night.

Thanks to my new bloggie buddy White Coconut for the rad weight loss ticker that now graces the right margin of my blog.

And super thanks to my bestie Jilly Bean who agreed to go with me on this journey.

It's time for skinny.....and I'm on my way!

And We're Off....

I lost 3 pounds this week!

Finally!

I'm very pleased to see results this week.  I'm not sure I could have handled two weeks without coke or chocolate and nothing to show for it.

In other news, Jennie and I went to the movies last night and I avoided a Dr. Pepper and M&Ms, opting instead for water!  Yay me!

Here's to another week and hopefully the beginning of my journey to thin.

Brooklyn!

My super awesome twin bro just purchased me a ticket to NY for 4th of July.  Just so we can hang out.

How awesome is that?

I've been to NYC probably 6-7 times, so we're doing it up Brooklyn style this time around!  

I'm not really sure what that means(1).  But since Brooklyn is the new black...I'm totally in.

1  Believe me when I say that his "style" and my "style" are two different things.

This Thing Is From Him

GG recently told me about a message she heard on her way to work one morning.

She said this pastor made the statement that although we may not always understand what God's plan is, there is no denying that He has one.

And so when doubting minds inquire, you should always remember 5 simple words.

This thing is from Him.

So whether you're in the midst of the most challenging year of your life, or whether you've just been blessed, remember that it is from Him.  

He never said it would be easy, but He did say that we can overcome.(2)  Either way, just repeat those 5 little words and know that there is a plan and you will be blessed.

Proverbs 28:20  "A faithful man will abound with blessings...."

More stories to come....

1  She totally listens to church radio.

2  1 Corinthians 10:13

Meet Bebe and Jennie

My friend Jennie and I went to pick up her new puppy this weekend.

Super fun!

The baby is a tiny toy, apricot poodle....and she's stinkin adorable!  Her name is Bebe, she currently weight 1.5 pounds, and her mommy has already spoiled her to pieces!(1)

The funny thing is, Bebe was born on April 2 and we picked her up on the first Saturday in June. My very own Bosley Bear was born on April 3 and GG and I first brought him home on the first Saturday in June of 2005.  

Coincidence?

Maybe they'll be sweethearts!  

Check out my precious new niece.(2)

Jennie With Bebe For The First Time

Sweet Bebe

In other news, I have to give a quick shout-out to my buddy.

We've been friends for a little over a year, but have recently found our friendship at a new level.(3)  It has been such a JOY for me to find an even deeper bond with a gal I already adored.

But what I've particularly grown to love, is a new sister in Christ.  One that I can pray with, discuss scripture with and be held accountable to.  

This thing is from Him!(4)

1  How can you not with that sweet face!?

2  Yes, I call her my niece.  After all, dogs are really just furry people.

3  Yes, we are our only remaining single friends.  But God has a plan in everything.  :)

4  See future post to come on This Thing Is From Him!

Squishy 1....Fabs 0

Today wrapped up week 1 of the great Squishy War of 2009.

My beautiful friend lost 3 pounds.  Yay for Jilly Bean!

I lost 0 pounds.  ZERO!  A big FAT goose egg(1)!  

So I treated myself to Sonic and some dog park therapy this afternoon.  I figure tomorrow is a new day and a new week.  If I'm going to step things up a notch, I should at least get a large cherry Dr. Pepper as a farewell(2).

Stupid squishy.

1  ARGH!!!!!!!

2  My first coke in a week - not that it mattered!

Hit The Road, Squishy

Squishy.

That's what I am.

And as much as I'd like to continue to ignore it(1), I can't.  So my bestie and I have decided to get skinny.  Together.

I'm only blogging about it to keep myself accountable.  I figure if I admit to everyone(2) who follows me, I better have something to show for it! 

So here goes....  Wish me luck.(3)

1  And by ignore it, I mean feed it.  Literally.

2  Both of you.

3  Don't feed The Fabs. 

Fun With Footnotes

I like them.

So I'm keeping them.

Word of the Day: Janky

JANKY  Adjective

[JANE-KEY]

Definition:  Inferior qualify; held in low social regard; poor quality.

Synonyms:  Shabby, crappy, sucky.

Example:  "Y'all should have seen the janky Geo Tracker I drove back in the day."

Another New Blog To Check Out

Now y'all know I love me some blogs.

Check out my latest and greatest bloggie buddy:  Magnolia Moment.

Love, 

Fabs

R.I.P., My Fabulous Friends

Last week I had a client visit with a company in Lewisville.

Because it was a super hot and humid day to be dressed up, and because it was a Wednesday and that's my "date" night with Jilly Bean(1), I actually brought a change of clothes for after my meeting.  My colleague B made fun of me.  Little did she know my yet unforeseen wisdom.

Meanwhile, I headed out to my meeting and promptly found myself lost on the way.(2)  

So now I'm sweating in the heat and slightly panicked with my Google Map in one hand, punching in the address on my GPS with the other, and balancing my cell phone between my neck and shoulder as I ask Lamont (who answers the phone) for help.  His only direction, by the way, was to look for the 7-11 on the corner(3). 

Finally I arrive, and just on time I might add.  I have a great meeting and am already planning interviews for my candidates before I leave 30 minutes later.  A perfect day.(4)

As I leave my meeting, I'm sassing my cute self down the stairs feeling good about the visit and totally FAB in my fave 4-inch black snakeskin stilettos.  Half way down, I manage to actually step IN TO the cuff of my pants with one of my heels. And there I go...

Tumbling down the remaining half of the stairs.  Legs in the air, ankles twisted, hands gripping on for dear life to the railing(5), and my bag flying with all the contents dumped over the remaining three steps.(6)

Awesome.

Trust me when I say that I got up faster than I fell down, barely making eye contact with the security guard that came to my rescue, and limping out to my car.

At this point I realize my shoe feels weird.  I look down to discover that the limping is due in part to the fact that I have broken off one of my heels.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I returned to the office with bruises in tow the soreness setting in.(7)  A great story to tell, but devastated over the loss of my shoe.  Luckily, I had my trusty change of clothes and flips to at least bring me back to a moderate level of comfort.  And my co-workers assured me that a good cobbler could fix my baby(8) right up.

Saturday, I made it a priority to take it over to the little Chinese man that fixes all my shoes.

"He's a miracle-worker," I think.  "Surely he can fix my beloved 4-inch black snakeskin stilettos."

I approach him with all the seriousness of someone truly concerned about a sick friend, but hopeful for healing.

He peels the padding off(9) and starts pushing and twisting the heel.  I feel like he's tapping my arm for a vein.   Stop!  Make it stop!

"Lady," he says.  "I can't fix.  See metal rod?  I can't fix."

Sniff, sniff.  "Say it isn't so, mr. cobbler(10) man."

I receive a blank stare in return as he hands over my fab-no-more shoe.

I seriously cannot put into words the total defeat on my face as I made my way back to my car. Would it make me crazy that I've been mourning the loss ever since?

Who's up for shopping this weekend?  Mama needs a new pair of shoes.

1  And possibly because I'm lazy.

2  For the record, Highway 121, 121 Business, and 121 Bypass can be a little confusing!

3  Which at this point I'm thinking may only be good for a 40 oz.

4  Until.....

5  Which yes, I do realize, I probably should have been holding from the start.  But then I would not have been able to further sass with my FAB new summer bag I picked up at the grand opening of Sam Moon's a few weeks ago.

6  Aforementioned bag contained glasses, lipstick, wallet and inhaler.  Not exactly sexy contents, but way better than a tampon or two.

7  I wish I could say the soreness was because the fall was so bad.  But I fear it is actually because I'm old.  Or perhaps because this was the biggest workout I've had in 2 years. 

8  My shoe.

9  Ouch!

10  Am I spelling cobbler right?  Or am I speaking about a person who bakes pies?

SHOES!

This story actually belongs to my friend B.   But it was too darn funny (and too much like me) to leave it unpublished.  Enjoy!

B took off work for her sister's wedding a few weeks ago.  Of course she also planned to work in an interview that day...you know...since she was already off and didn't have to come up with new excuses to leave the office.

So she's running around all morning trying to get ready for her interview and fielding calls from the dozens of family members flooding into town.  She's dashing around the house gathering her things and finishing her makeup when she realizes she hasn't printed a copy of her resume yet.

Bad news.  Printer is broken.

So she grabs her bag and rushes over to her boyfriend's house.  He's out back working on a project (he's a freelance photographer), so she goes straight to the office to print. 

Bad news.  Printer is not connected.

Sweat starts forming around her hairline as panic sets in.  She throws off her jacket and shoes and runs to the back of the house for help.  The boyfriend comes to her rescue and reconnects the printer as the clock ticks away.

Finally, in a full sweat at this point, the resume is printed.  The BF offers to drive since B is now completely freaked out and late.

As they are 20 minutes down the road and her pulse finally returns to a resting rate, she bends down to put on her shoes and realizes......

THEY ARE STILL AT THE BF'S HOUSE!!

Panic.  Panic.  Hyperventilating.  More sweat.

They are 1 mile from the interview.  It starts in 10 minutes.  And she has no shoes!

In a moment of heroics the BF spots a shopping center and cuts a fast turn into the parking lot. With the car still moving, B jumps from the passenger side in no shoes and runs to the first store.  She flings open the door and in a panic screams,

"SHOES!!  DO YOU HAVE SHOES!!?"

The clerk just looks at her with a blank stare.  "Um, no."

B runs to the next store, again tearing open the door and screaming "SHOES!?"  And again, the answer is no.

The BF is circling the parking lot in search of a space as B runs to the third store.

"DO YOU HAVE SHOES!?"

Success.  She races to their minimal selection and grabs the first semi-dress shoe in her size just as the BF comes tearing through the store waving the credit card (good BF).  They are strapping on her shoes and signing the receipt when the clerk says, 

"And why would you go to an  interview without shoes?"

Thanks.

B makes it to the interview with 1 minute to spare and sporting a new pair of shoes.  

Which she will likely burn after.

Reality

I am terribly addicted to reality TV.

It started with the Real World in college, and has extended to a love of more shows than I can actually Tivo.

So today I just have to comment on the finales of late.

Celebrity Apprentice:

First of all, reality TV by itself is awesome.  But throw in some celebrities and its bliss!  I've been watching since the first season and this year I was rooting for Joan Rivers to take it.  Don't get me wrong, I've never been a huge fan.  But the woman is 78 years old and she is one spry lady!  I admire her energy and thought she played a pretty clever game. 

The verdict:  Joan won!!  

Dancing With the Stars:

If reality and celebrities aren't enough - make them dance!  Pure genius!  I absolutely love this show and this year called the final three:  Melissa (of Bachelor fame), Gilles (of naked-man-in-Sex-and-the-city-fame) and Shawn (Olympic champion).  I wanted Shawn to win.  How freaking cute is she?  And every Olympian that has made it to the finals, has won.  I didn't want her walking away with that mirrored ball trophy.

The verdict:  Shawn won!!

So I'm 2-for-2 and decided to throw my weight toward American Idol next.

American Idol:

Now I gave up on AI a few years ago and usually end up tuning in only for the final 10.  The rest of it just gets old to me.  But I got all kinds of sucked in with this whole Adam mess.  UGH!!  I think this guy is such a joke. How can America seriously buy into his poser crap?  My personal vote was Danny.  But since he was voted out of the finals, I went for Chris.  I'm sorry, but I think anyone can stand up and sing, but it takes an idol to be able to sing AND play piano AND guitar. 

The verdict:  Chris won!!

So with my faith in reality TV renewed (I swore it off after the Bachelor debacle), I was pleased to tune into new seasons of my other faves:

The Bachelorette (I heart Jillian!)

Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Intervention

So You Think You Can Dance

Yee-haw!

Glass Half Full...Today

Do you think you're a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person?

Personally, I've never really been able to nail down a consistent emotion when it comes to my liquid measuring.  Some weeks I feel like my cup is overflowing, and other weeks I feel like I'm wandering around the desert parched!

The last few weeks in particular I've been feeling REAL sorry for myself. Turning 31 and not feeling like I'm where I should be at this point in my life.  Waiting on my commissions to roll in and feeling like a pauper in the meantime.  And don't get me started on the "squishy" factor.

But today, we helped a friend move who is knee-deep in crisis.  You could see the defeat and exhaustion on her face, and my heart broke for her.  So we gave group hugs, loaded up the cars, and supported her the best we knew how.

On my way home I prayed for her again.  Then I thanked God for where I am in my life today.  I am so grateful to be free from the prison I lived in for so long.  I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I know it's exactly where I'm supposed to be.

A New (To Me) Blog to Check Out

A new blog my buddy Tara introduced me to that I lurve!

Enjoy!

This Fish Needs A Bicycle

Tweet, Tweet

Since I first found out about Twitter 2 years ago, I've been avoiding it.  

I have a blog, I have a cell phone, I have MySpace and Facebook!  How many more ways can a gal be connected?

But out of sheer boredom today, I decided to give it a go!  So if you're interested in following me - I swear I'll update it more often than my blog - you can find me under Fabs1278.

Love, love!

Poopfest '09

When I was in 5th grade, I had pneumonia.  But it was the first day of school and I was way too much the social butterfly to miss out on that!  So I insisted on going.  And even though GG knew I'd be home within the hour, she let me.

Now something important to understand here, is that this was a BRAND NEW school. Beautiful, clean, stained-free carpet lined the halls.  It was quite the fancy campus and everyone was in awe. 

GG was right, I barely made it through the first hour (which was music class), before I felt sick to my stomach.  Not knowing where the nurse's office was, the teacher had another kid walk me down.  

As I approached the front hall - the MAIN hall where everyone enters and gets their first impression of this gorgeous new place - I blew.  Delightful little kid vomit all over the front entry....and the kid who was escorting me now running and screaming "She's PUKING!  She's PUKING!" at the top of his lungs.

I was forever remembered by administration (and the janitors) as that girl who ruined the carpet on the first day (first hour!) of school!

I've always known that as payback, someday my own child would projectile-vomit in some public location.  But since I have no kids, I have instead been blessed with my dog Bosley, and what I am now referring to as Poopfest 2009.......

Saturday we went to PetSmart.  I thought it would be a nice little outing for my guy.  Get him some new treats, take a field trip out of the house, and while we were there I could get his anal glands drained.

Yeah - I said it - anal glands.  It's a part of small-dog life y'all, bear with me!

Anyway, this is not his favorite thing to do (whose would it be!?).  I guess despite the fact that I planned on buying him treats after, he decided to get me back for the tease-of-an-adventure.

As I'm collecting toys and treats, I feel Bosley yanking on the leash and I realize he's making the great escape to take a poop - IN THE FRONT ENTRY OF PETSMART!  So I spin around to use my handy-dandy baggies to quickly eliminate the issue and I realize that he has left a trail of pooplets!  Bosley!!!

So I bend down to start catching them and I hear him snapping at a big dog that approaches.  I spin around to deal with that, dropping the poop, knocking my sunglasses off my head, thus cementing my hair to my freshly-glossed lips.

Ugh!

Of course he has now dropped a few more pooplets while attacking the dog.  So I'm busy trying to gather those - while people stop to laugh.  Suddenly, he jerks the leash and goes running down the aisle - STILL DROPPING POOPLETS!!!

Now I'm dropping treats and my purse in order to quickly capture him and avoid slipping on his "trail".  I finally grab his leash just in time for a few last pooplets to go flinging down aisle.

I deposit my three poop baggies, take myself quickly to the registers, and pay for his not-so-deserved treats.  I'm sweating at this point and just wanting to get in my car and go home!

On the way out - I look over to see the original offending pooplets still sitting in the entry way. With Bosley, leash, my bag and purchases in had, I simply turn the other way and walk out!  I admit it!  I was too embarrassed to go back!

We get in the car and I let a heavy sigh of relief pass as I blast on the air conditioning and sit back in my chair.  What an experience!!  Bosley turns and gives me what I feel sure is a knowing-smirk and some smoochies.

LOL.  Little stinker.

Kitty Wigs

Oh yes.  It's real.

www.kittywigs.com

Pink Passion

Pink is the color of fantasy.  Our model, Chicken, looks like her mind is elsewhere when she wears this wig - - somewhere in the land of cotton candy and pinwheels where the air smells like sugar kisses.

Pink makes your kitty feel elegant, modern and quintessentially feline.

Electric Blue

Blue is edgy and electric.  In this wig, Chicken sports some serrrious attitude:  she's thinking saxophones, smoke and snapping fingers.  

Blue gives your kitty a sharp look - - jazzy and totally copacetic.

I wish I had some snarky commentary to add.  I think I'll let the photos do the talking.  

But can we at least talk about the fact that the cat's name is Chicken? And look at her work it! Wow.

This Just In

My ex has officially exhausted all of his appeals.

Which means.....

The 60-year sentence stands.  And to put it in the words of the State of Texas Criminal Justice Department, unless he "dies or escapes" he won't even see a chance of parole until 2037.

Deep sigh.

It's been over a year since the first sentence was imposed and I still can't believe it.  I will never be able to express the relief I feel knowing that the cycle has stopped with us.  And what's more, to know that both women I stood beside now have a peace they never thought possible.

It may seem like a strange concept to some, but I feel blessed to have this be my story.

Dancing With The Stars 2009

Check out the new season of DWTS!

• Comedian David Alan Grier

• Singer Belinda Carlisle

• Gymnast Shawn Johnson (the super young, super short one)

• Rapper Lil' Kim (also super short, but a little more slutty)

• Playboy Playmate Holly Madison  (Hef's ex)

• Actor Gilles Marini  (the naked guy from Sex & The City)

• Bullrider Ty Murray (a professional cowboy)

• Jackass Steve-O (think the MTV show, not the adjective)

• Actress Denise Richards

• Bachelor survivor Melissa Rycroft  (yes - it's THAT Melissa)!

• NFL Player Lawrence Taylor

• Country singer Chuck Wicks  (super cute and Julianne Hough's sweetie)

• Apple Co-Founder Steve Wozniak  (the rich dorky guy)
  

My review of the season premier?

Melissa rocked it!  She was fantastic and absolutely stunning.  How can you not love this girl? Must be because she's from Texas.  :)

Steve-O is a year out from being sober.  I was actually super impressed with him and completely touched by the moment and the support of his "Jackass" friend in the audience.  I can't wait to see what he does this season!

I love me some Ty Murray.  Another good ol' Texan.  Absolutely adorable to watch.  He is SO out of his element, and it's perfectly entertaining.

Chuck Wicks is hot.  Who knew?  And I should probably be nauseated by the love affair with him and his partner/ real-life girlfriend Julianne, but they are both so darn cute I can't help it! I totally want to hang out with them!

The rest was pretty uneventful for the first episode, but I'm a fan just the same.  Can't wait to see how this season progresses!

References On Request

Today we met an interesting candidate.

When we asked for his references, he produced a list of four contacts.  Three of the four had a tiny note written beside each of them in the margin that read:

"Deceased."

Pause.

Obviously, we stated that we wouldn't be able to contact these particular references (without a lot of candles and some chanting anyway), and asked if he had any others.  He said:

"But these were really good ones."

True story.

Later I consulted my Magic 8 Ball and asked it if we would be finding him work.  It said:

"Not likely."